Relive every moment of the thrashing below. I recorded it as it played out.
T1: I woke up to the sight of Jeter at second base with nobody out (Jeter is now 4/7 for his career against Penny). Don’t know how he got there but you can bet it wasn’t a HBP and a balk. (I learn later it was a ground rule double to right). It was probably a smash off the monster or a gapper to right. Damon, probably unfamiliar the sightlines at Fenway, struck out looking (he then left the game for because he fouled a ball off of his foot). Tex walked on a 3-2 pitch and A-Rod followed suit to load the bases with one out. But Matsui struck out looking. Posada came up next, waited for a hitter's count, and then smashed a hard ground ball single up the middle. 2-0 Yanks! Cano grounded to 2nd to end the inning.
B1: Ellsbury walked on a questionable pitch and promptly stole second because Cano was unable to handle Posada’s throw. Pedroia flew out to right, moving Ellsbury to third. YES obnoxiously replayed Ellbury’s steal of home, as if he was going to try it again. Martinez sacrificed him home with a fly-out to Melky, and the Sox were on the board. I don’t remember how but Youk somehow got out and the Sox were done.
T2: Swisher grounded out to start things off. Melky reached base, don’t know how. Hit and run was on and Jeter roped a single to center. Then Hinske smashed a ground rule double down the line to score Melky from third and now Tex is at the plate! Oh pour it on, boys! Yeah! Tex doubles down the right field line and it’s 5-1 Yankees! That ball bounced off the wall and caromed into the middle of right field, rather than skipping to the outfield wall. A-Rod doubles down the left field line! But he’s out at second on a great play by Jason Bay. 6-1 Bombers, all without a home run! Fenway is silent; they must have known this was coming. Oh and Matsui LAUNCHED one to the right field wall, backing Drew up all the way, and drawing a terrified “AW!” from the Fenway Fools. But it settled into Drew’s glove. 4 runs in the inning on countless hits.
B2: Ha YES atones for the sin of showing the Ellsbury steal by reminding us that this day in baseball history marks…the 5th game of the Boston Massacre sweep that effectively ended the PED Sox season in 2006. Anyway Bay comes up and promptly pops out to Tex. Ortiz follows him, still batting an apparently Roid-less .224. He walks on a pitch that was called a strike earlier in the game. Cameras show Girardi, then close-ups of the umpire, then lines over the plate indicating the strike zone and how the ump has apparently lost it. We’ll find this umpire’s name later and go kick his fat ass. Lowell just smacked one but right at Melky. The hit drew a “YEAH!” from the fans as it rose lazily into center. Drew is up. More close-ups of the umpire, who is imposing himself on the game with his poor calling of balls and strikes. Drew grounds out weakly and at the break a Yankee coach goes out to respectfully request that the umpire throw himself off the green monster.
T3: Everyone’s applauding Jerry Remi, who I’ve never heard of before. I guess he’s a beloved Red Sox announcer.
Anyway here’s Posada leading off against Penny, who must have thrown more than 50 pitches by now. Whoops Martinez, a recent pickup for his bat and not his glove behind the plate, let Posada’s third strike skip to the wall. Posada made it exciting by running slowly to first, but he made it in.
Cano makes us forget this by promptly grounding into a double play. He’s probably the only Yankee not to reach base today. Oh I’m wrong Swisher also did not reach. He’s up now. He struggles mentally at Fenway.
There’s some guy named Bowden in the bullpen warming up already. Swisher strikes out swinging, but the totals flashed on the screen tell the story: Yankees have 6 runs on 8 hits. Sox have 1 run and no hits so far.
B3: Here’s Alex Gonzales, the recently acquired Sox shortstop, batting 9th. He strikes out swinging. 50 pitches now for Pettitte. Ellsbury now. He has tied someone named “Harper” (almost certainly a white player) for the most steals in a season for a Red Sox player, at 54. Well he’ll have to wait to break it, as Pettitte gets him swinging on a nasty slider or something. Here’s Pedroia with two away. Red Sox still don’t have a hit. And PED lofts one to the edge of the monster, Hinske misplays it for what should be an error, and ball rolls all the way to Jeter, who turns and gets PEDroida by a mile at third. They’ll probably rule that a hit because Hinske didn’t touch it, but it should be an error. We’ll see. BTW Hinske looked awful on that play. Must he be out in the field? I’d better report on Damon soon.
T4: Question: Who is the last Red Sox player to lead the AL in stolen bases? I’ll say DON’T KNOW DON’T CARE. Almost certainly a white player. If not maybe Ellis Burks? Jim Rice? Nomar?
Anyway Melky grounds out to short, almost beat that out. Jeter, with his .334 average is up. He’s 2 for 2 today. But he flies out to Drew and now Hinske, who seems determined to lose this game somehow, is up. Cameras keep showing a couple in B caps in the stands smiling. Now he’s on his cell phone. Hinkse flies out to left and the Yankees are out.
B4: Hinske’s error could get interesting. Wow the answer to the trivia question was Ellsbury last year. Ground ball to Jeter, who gracefully fields and throws out Martinez. Now it’s Youk swinging violently on the first pitch and popping out to Tex. How long will this no-hitter last? Here’s Bay the Yankee killer. His bat has cooled off considerably since April and May. But Bay flies out sharply to Hinske, who makes us all nervous now. 4 innings of no-hit ball from Pettitte.
T5: Hey there we go. In the quiet of Fenway a fan shouted as loudly as he could that someone (I guess Teixeira) was a “homo”. Tex singles to center to lead off. And then A-Rod ripped one off the wall for a long single, and Tex moved to third. Umpires have gathered to determine whether that was a home run? No it just hit the top of the wall. Penny leaves to hearty boos for his 4+ innings 10 hits 6 run performance. It’s fair to say that he’s been outpitched by Pettitte. Here’s Matsui and he CRUSHES ONE WAY OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH LEFTY TO LEFT AND HE GETS ALL OF IT!!!!! 9-1 YANKEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH OH OH GODZILLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INTO THE SOX BULLPEN AND OUT OF DREW’S REACH. A Sox fan grabbed it and celebrated. Posada walks and the Yankees aren’t finished. Girardi is applauding in the dugout. Here’s Cano. Francona is chewing seeds furiously. Another one goes past Martinez and Posada lumbers to second. Cano smokes one to the gap, scoring Posada. 10-1 Yankees. Only Swisher is without a hit, and he’s at the plate. He grounds out, eliciting a derisive cheer from the Boston Buffoons in the stands. Melky up and he lashes a 3-1 pitch into center, scoring Cano from third. The score is now 11-1. Will we see Traber again? Have the Sox already given up? Here’s Jeter with one out and the Melk Man on first. Jete is 2 for 3. Grounds to Youk but beats out the 3-6-3. Hinske is up. Bowden has thrown 30 pitches already. 4 pitch walk, not sure how much of this Francona will tolerate. Now Tex. He only has a single a double a walk, 2 RBI and 3 runs scored (in the 5th inning). This is still the inning in which Tex was called a homo. And he singles to right, scoring Jeter and drawing a “hooray” from the Fenway philistines. Bowden can’t find the strike zone against A-Rod. Why not walk him and pitch to Matsui? Pettitte is waiting patiently in the dugout. He’s still got a no-hitter going. 41 pitches for Bowden. Francona steadfastly refusing to bring anyone else in. And A-Rod walks to load em up. Matsui, who has already homered against this pitcher in this inning, comes to the plate. This could get messy. HA HA DECLARAMEN IS WARMING!!!!! Yes give me all your pitchers, Francona. Damn Matsui flies out. 12-1 Yankees now.
B5: Hinske corralled Ortiz’s pop fly but Lowell gets the first legitimate hit for the Sox (the other hit will surely be changed). Drew is out of the game, Baldelli in. Sox are waving the white flag. Well Baldelli doubles off the wall in center, giving the Fraudway faithful something to cheer about. Oops I guess not so much, Gonzales grounds out and does not get the run across. To gone, men on 2nd and 3rd with Ellsbury up. And Ellsbury goes down and gets one for a hit, scoring two. It’s 12-3 now and Boston fans have a glimmer of hope. Pedroia follows with a double, and now we’re wondering if Pettitte can finish this out. He’s thrown 91 pitches now. And he strikes out Martinez, muttering to himself has he strolls back to the dugout. We’ll probably see Bruney in the 6th.
T6: Bowden is still hanging around, getting rocked. Francona is willing to let him get embarrassed. Posada rocks a double off the centerfield wall. Cano flies out on a 1-0 pitch. Single by Swisher, and all the Yankees have hits! Posada inches over to third. Now Melk. First pitch crushed off the monster! Francona? Now the top of the order is up. Jeter first pitch single to center. 15-4 now! Francona? The Yankees want your best pitchers. Bring them in or this slaughter will not stop!!! Francona??? Oh he leaves Bowden in!!! They’re letting Bowden’s ERA skyrocket to 18.90 now. He can’t throw strikes anymore. Jeter is on second. This is hilarious. Well Hinske grounds out, and they’re leaving Bowden in to face Tex. A cry of “homo” is picked up by the cameras. Damn and Bowden gets out of it. 15 runs and 18 hits for the Yankees now, and we’re still in the 6th.
B6: Cano pulls Tex off the bag with a lazy throw and Green singles to right, first and third with nobody out, Ortiz up, and this may be Pettitte’s last batter. Ortiz pops out but there’s some miscommunication between Hinske and Melky. Basically Melky didn’t learn in the Dominican Republic that the centerfielder has priority. Cano didn’t learn to play hard in the D.R. either. No wonder they got beat twice in the WBC.
Pettitte out, Bruney in. Bruney gives up two walks, one of them with the bases loaded, and now Boston has cut the lead to single digits again, 15-6 with bases loaded nobody out. Bruney falls behind and a parade of Yankees comes to talk on the mound. 4-6-3 Double Play! It’s 15-7 but with two outs now. Ellsbury gets jammed and pops out to Cano, inning over.
T7: Still hoping the Yankees force the Sox to tire out their better relievers. Each team needs to get 9 outs with the bullpen. And here’s Delcarmen! He’s been cold lately, but Ramirez or Okajima would be nice to see, too. A-Rod triples off the garage door in center as Ellsbury does a jumping jack in a vain attempt to catch it. A Matsui ground-out scores A-Rod and the Yankees have 16 runs. Posada lines one to left and the Yankees are helping the Sox by swinging too early in counts. And that won’t stop with Cano, who grounds out to Pedroia.
B7: Bruney got an out but walked everyone else, so the bases are loaded for Ortiz, and Girardi brings in the lefty Marte! Long Time No See! Ortiz flies out to Hinske and there are two gone! Lowell now. And Marte has struck him out!
It seems that Bruney may no longer be a reliable pitcher for the Yankees this year. If they plan on using him for the playoffs they’d better get him right. Marte looked ok but that’s only two batters. I never thought the Yankees would bring him back, but here he is.
T8: Saito! Come on down! Can the Yankees knock him out and force a Ramirez/ Okajima appearance? Here’s Swisher. Fenway sounds empty now. They were still keeping the flame of hope alive in the 7th, down by 9 runs? With the whole Yankee bullpen rested? Delusional people! Swisher strikes out on a 3-2 pitch. Melky now. He’s 3 for 4 and batting .272. Hits it hard but it’s a catchable ball to left, two down and…Jeter up. He’s 3 for 5. Boos for Jeter but no “homo” accusations. Hit hard but right near Pedroia, who was playing very deep. Yankees go 1-2-3 and Saito has done his job. I’m thinking: What will Boston do if tomorrow’s pitcher, whom the Yankees have already seen (and with whom A-Rod made fast friends) can’t go more than 4 or 5 innings? Who’s coming in? Do they expect to outpitch A.J. Burnett?
B8: Interesting. Mitre is on the hill. I guess they aren’t planning on starting him any time soon. Joba will probably take his place in a brief Sabathia/Burnett/Pettitte/Gaudin/Chamberlain rotation, with Mitre occasionally replacing Joba later in the year. Before I can finish these sentences (and I type reasonably fast), Mitre gets two outs, one of them a weak comebacker. Could we be seeing another secret weapon emerging from the pen? Well he’d have to blow a couple of people away. He didn’t blow anyone away but got Ellsbury to ground to A-Rod, who unleashed a bullet across the diamond to Tex for the out. He doesn’t throw hard unless he needs to, and then he guns it.
T9: Yes, Ramon Ramirez is on the hill. I think we saw everyone but Okajima and Papelbon today. But with only one inning of work, Ramirez and Saito should be able to pitch tomorrow. Ellsbury again tried to catch one too far in front of him, dove forward and let the ball skip past him, extending Hinske’s single into a double. Ellsbury is having a very weak day in the field, and the Yankees have 20 hits. Here’s Hairston in for A-Rod. I like Hairston; he’s a ballplayer, with a varied skill set and polish all around. Hairston draws a walk and now we’re wondering if Ramirez will be available tomorrow. Matsui at the plate, swung on and HIT IN THE AIR TO DEEP RIGHT! NEAR THE FOUL POLE! IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS….GONE!!!!!!!!!! THE YANKEES HAVE 19 RUNS ON 21 HITS, MATSUI’S BLAST SAILED INTO THE SEATS JUST BEHIND THE FOUL POLE IN RIGHT, AND THE YANKEES HAVE A 19-7 LEAD! Posada is out but Green misplayed a Cano fly-out and turned it into a double! Can the Yankees score 20 runs today? Let’s see what Swisher can do. I know one thing for sure: this is the most runs the Yankees have scored this year. Ramirez is still out there, it’s very unlikely he’ll be available tomorrow. Off the centerfield wall!!!!! 20 runs now!!! Ramirez is still out there! Oh it’s glorious, nobody’s going to warm in the pen but I just love this!! 20 runs, 22 hits. Here’s Melky. Make that 23 hits, but Melky is out at second. 20 runs on 23 hits today, and only Okajima and Papelbon didn’t pitch for the Sox. Brilliant.
B9: Mitre gets Pedroia to fly out to right, one gone. Varitek is up and he cracks one over the centerfield wall for a home run, 21-8 now. Mitre gives up another hit to Crotchman and falls behind Nick Green. But it’s grounded to A-Rod, who flips to Cano for the force, two away. Here’s Ortiz and Big Juicy doubles to center over Melky’s head to make it 20-9. Here’s Lowell now, and Mitre is laboring, but he’s gonna try and get the last out. The old man is still hitting .300, bless his roid-laden soul, and he hits one over the green monster to cut the lead to 20-11. Well Mitre just hit someone but the 9 hitter grounded out to none other than Derek Jeter and the Yankees win!!!